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Betrayed but Not Broken: 3 Evidence Based Steps to Healing and Trusting God


 Proverbs 3:5-8

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. 7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. 8 Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.

Grief hits us in waves. Sometimes months or even years after a loss emotion will bubble up to the surface. The sting of losing people, places and things that were once dear to us can destabilize emotions in ways that we don’t realize until significant time has passed. 

Walking around the lake on this particular day I was reflecting on some things God removed me from in order to protect my heart, grow my faith, and heal wounds I didn’t yet understand. I’ve learned that healing begins when we focus more on God and less on the people that mishandled us.  

Scripture says, “don’t be impressed with your own wisdom, instead, fear the Lord”.   Only the Lord knows why that family member decided to betray rather than support and He understands what it feels like to be betrayed.  Only God knows why those people chose to gossip, spread lies and/or challenge everything you do but God understands it all.  

He has endured it too. This is why Jesus wants to meet us where we are and touch those places in our hearts that need to be washed by the water of the word to bring forth healing.  We become or achieve what we focus on which is another great reason for us to focus on God.  

The process of healing has 3 key principles that we can use to overcome setbacks as we let God lead us through them. 

Patience: Healing takes time and may involve setbacks.

Support: Seeking help from professionals, friends, or family can enhance recovery.

Self-Care: Proper nutrition, rest, and mental health practices are essential for both physical and emotional healing.


Patience. 

Isaiah 40:31 

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint. 


If you are like me, you may find yourself replaying old memories of times when you didn’t say what you should have said or you didn’t do what you could have done or worse you did what you shouldn’t have done. These thoughts are setbacks.  

Emotional pulls and tugs on our energy over things that we have already talked to God about, sought direction over, and repented for. Constantly replaying the past in our mind is a trap, a game the enemy plays to keep us stagnant. 

When we stay focused on what’s behind us, we can’t really move forward. It’s like driving a car but looking in the rear-view mirror. You won’t move forward very well if you keep looking in the rearview mirror. 

Eventually you will hit something in front of you causing damage to it and possibly yourself. Paul reminds us in Philippians 3:13 “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead”.  That’s the strategy. 

I’m learning that healing requires that I acknowledge past hurts, forgive and release those who hurt me to God and then forget it by focusing on the future God has for me. 

Declaring that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and that in due season we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up (Galatians 6:9) are declarative weapons of our warfare that win the battle. 

Satan wants you to remember the past and replay events in your mind that you can no longer change, but God wants you to forget the past and focus on your future. 

Be Future Focused

Get the ball moving by 1) Physically changing your current space. It's amazing what new paint on the wall can do.  Try rearranging the furniture in a room, adding a citrus scented candle or diffuser to boost your mood or simply bringing a plant into your space are small changes with a big payoff for increasing your focus. 

2) Try creating a vision board of the things you would like to achieve. Visually seeing it every day will help you stay mindful of the future you want, and it will help you to stay focused on what lies ahead. 

3)Keep declaring the word of God over your situation and eventually you will be in the future you are currently praying for, more healed, more confident, more aligned with God’s purpose for your life.


Support. 

Psalm 46:1 

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 


What happens when the people who are supposed to be your support system are actually the ones that hurt you? Who can we turn to then? Healing starts with God. Make Him your main support. 

Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” In this scripture Jesus says, “learn from me”.   So, let’s follow Jesus. 

He may lead us to do therapy. He may lead us to start journaling or to be more active in a church or social group.  Spending time with others can be a struggle when you have been previously hurt in a group setting. Give it to God. He wants to bless us through other people. 

He wants to bless others through us. Matthew 5:14 says “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden."  Shine your light and allow others to shine their light to us. I know it's easier said than done. I get it but if you want healing you have to try something new. Ask God for help. 


Self-care. 

1 Corinthians 6:20 

Therefore, honor God with your bodies. 

For some this category is the easiest. For others this is the most challenging. Proper nutrition, rest, and good mental health are essential for both physical and emotional healing. 

Taking time to take care of our bodies is a requirement from the Lord. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies."  

Foods that nourish the body grow from the earth. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Drink more water. Glowing skin and a clearer mind will be the result. Setting limits with screen time and getting good sleep (adequate hours and quality) are also excellent examples of self-care.

Sometimes self-care isn't about a new face cleanser, but it involves God removing us from people, places and things that are no longer aligned with who we are becoming and that’s ok. Learn to let go and be okay with God removing you from people who don't have good intentions towards you. 

Yes, it may be a family member. Yes, it may be your best friend. Often it will be those closest to us. Our love for the person or role they play in our life can blind us to the truth of how they truly feel about us in their hearts. 

But God sees, hears and knows their intentions and He will remove them so distance can create clarity and/or change.  Protecting our peace is a priority.  Colossians 3:15 says “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…” which we know allows us to function better and hear Him more clearly. I have learned that letting go of what no longer supports me creates room for what does.   

Self-care is more than respecting our bodies, it is letting Christ’s peace govern our hearts. When we stay focused on Him, He will keep us in His perfect peace.  I know from personal experience these three steps are proven, and I continue to implement them as the Lord leads me into greater levels of healing. I pray you let these steps lead you to the healing of God in your life as well.  Shalom. 




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